To the next decade!

A lot prompted my decision to make a serious change in my life. 2012...is the year I turn the dreaded 30. Weirdly enough, I don't dread it as much as one would think. It's another number. I'm sure that as we get closer to June and the big day, I will start feeling a little more anxious than usual. Maybe my biological clock will actually start ticking (doubtful, but you never know). I have accomplished a lot prior to 30 so that is probably why I'm not such a nervous wreck just yet (25 was the age I freaked at, had a quarter life crisis because I felt like I hadn't accomplished ANYTHING). I have a great marriage and a fulfilling career, 2 awesome dogs, and I feel fulfilled.

But my health is another story. My 20s have been a mess when it comes to my health. I don't know how much of it has been avoidable, but I know a lot of it could have been. I actually didn't go through that usual college partying phase of binge drinking. I didn't have my first alcoholic drink until I was nearly 21. Drinking wasn't something that interested me very much. It made people act like idiots or if they over did it, it made them throw up. If you're a long time reader, you may already know that throwing up is a tough issue for me to deal with. There was no way in heck that you would have caught me doing something that would make me sick. (I have only gotten sick from drinking ONCE. At the age of 29. Yes. Just this year. Too much too quick is what happened there. NEVER AGAIN.)

So when I did start drinking, I kept things under control. I got to know by body and what it could handle. If I started feeling off in any way shape or form, then I'd start on the water. The only other problem? Was that I was hanging out with people who sometimes smoked socially. That was a habit I picked up. Then I started picking up a cigarette when I was super stressed out. There was a 6 month period where I would have about 1 cigarette day. Which is not a lot, no, but it was something I never should have done.

I was pretty good about exercise in my late teens and early 20s. I was an avid runner. I went to the park near my apartment on a regular basis to do so. I enjoyed roller blading as well. But a lot of my fitness skills went out the window after I was in a car accident in 2004. I ended up with a fracture pelvis and instructions from my doctor was that I would not be running for at least a year. A YEAR. Needless to say, nearly 8 years later, I STILL am not running like I was back then. I never got that drive back. I have tried on numerous occasions to be a runner again. But I decided recently to stop believing that anyone could be a runner. I will always be a jog/walker. Maybe one day throughout this journey, I'll change my mind. But not right now.

Another unhealthy thing about my 20s? Anxiety. OH, the anxiety I have wired into my system. It is SO terrible! I never question the fact that I surely have a genetic connection with that. My father and his mother both dealt with anxiety and depression. I'm just trying to figure out why I"m the child that was wired with those problems.  There was a point in time, in my early twenties, that my anxiety was the worst. Within just a couple of months time, I lost nearly 30 pounds (a few family members thought I was anorexic), and became almost agoraphobic (could not leave the house without intense terror). I dropped out of college because I simply could not walk into a classroom. If I went anywhere I had to be aware of where the bathrooms and exits were at all times. I would grocery shop at the speed of light and only in small stores. I still have bad days where these habits come back, unfortunately. But instead of running, I am working through just DEALING with panic attacks and living life. I could barely hold a job in the past.

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So, my 30s...Are going to be much healthier. Daily yoga, real whole foods, and getting ME time to get in time for cardio. We'll chat about whole foods soon.... That is the basis for this whole thing. And the first decision I made for this. I HAVE to change the way I eat.

A new start!

I've been blogging for as long as I can remember, and for the last couple of years I've had a problem with finding a theme to writing. I felt like I was babbling about a whole lot of nothing. I finally got done with school, and I had planned a wedding. I had done a lot of whining about my anxiety and my yo-yo weight issues.

Thats the thing. I did a lot of whining. Or saying that I was going to do something about it. And not surprisingly, no one ever got an update on those things because I got wimpy. And weak. I felt like I couldn't change or I only tried hard for a week before I gave up.

In the last couple of weeks, I have been trying to change my way of thinking. Trying hard. I have done a lot of reading, a lot of research, and I want to do my best. The best for me and the best for the hubs, Dan. I want us to be healthy. I want us to prosper. I want to be less anxious....which will cut down on my stress...which will in turn help my immune system improve.

Over the next few posts, I will talk to in greater detail about the specific changes I will be making in my life. And I will be continuously posting on my efforts, my downfalls, and my successes. I'm going to include helpful tips, progress pics, recipes, etc that are working for me.

I just want to change my life. Not just my weight or the way my body looks. I want overall wellness. I'm going to be turning 30 in June of 2012. I want the start of my next decade to be simply amazing.

Welcome to my journey!