To the next decade!

A lot prompted my decision to make a serious change in my life. 2012...is the year I turn the dreaded 30. Weirdly enough, I don't dread it as much as one would think. It's another number. I'm sure that as we get closer to June and the big day, I will start feeling a little more anxious than usual. Maybe my biological clock will actually start ticking (doubtful, but you never know). I have accomplished a lot prior to 30 so that is probably why I'm not such a nervous wreck just yet (25 was the age I freaked at, had a quarter life crisis because I felt like I hadn't accomplished ANYTHING). I have a great marriage and a fulfilling career, 2 awesome dogs, and I feel fulfilled.

But my health is another story. My 20s have been a mess when it comes to my health. I don't know how much of it has been avoidable, but I know a lot of it could have been. I actually didn't go through that usual college partying phase of binge drinking. I didn't have my first alcoholic drink until I was nearly 21. Drinking wasn't something that interested me very much. It made people act like idiots or if they over did it, it made them throw up. If you're a long time reader, you may already know that throwing up is a tough issue for me to deal with. There was no way in heck that you would have caught me doing something that would make me sick. (I have only gotten sick from drinking ONCE. At the age of 29. Yes. Just this year. Too much too quick is what happened there. NEVER AGAIN.)

So when I did start drinking, I kept things under control. I got to know by body and what it could handle. If I started feeling off in any way shape or form, then I'd start on the water. The only other problem? Was that I was hanging out with people who sometimes smoked socially. That was a habit I picked up. Then I started picking up a cigarette when I was super stressed out. There was a 6 month period where I would have about 1 cigarette day. Which is not a lot, no, but it was something I never should have done.

I was pretty good about exercise in my late teens and early 20s. I was an avid runner. I went to the park near my apartment on a regular basis to do so. I enjoyed roller blading as well. But a lot of my fitness skills went out the window after I was in a car accident in 2004. I ended up with a fracture pelvis and instructions from my doctor was that I would not be running for at least a year. A YEAR. Needless to say, nearly 8 years later, I STILL am not running like I was back then. I never got that drive back. I have tried on numerous occasions to be a runner again. But I decided recently to stop believing that anyone could be a runner. I will always be a jog/walker. Maybe one day throughout this journey, I'll change my mind. But not right now.

Another unhealthy thing about my 20s? Anxiety. OH, the anxiety I have wired into my system. It is SO terrible! I never question the fact that I surely have a genetic connection with that. My father and his mother both dealt with anxiety and depression. I'm just trying to figure out why I"m the child that was wired with those problems.  There was a point in time, in my early twenties, that my anxiety was the worst. Within just a couple of months time, I lost nearly 30 pounds (a few family members thought I was anorexic), and became almost agoraphobic (could not leave the house without intense terror). I dropped out of college because I simply could not walk into a classroom. If I went anywhere I had to be aware of where the bathrooms and exits were at all times. I would grocery shop at the speed of light and only in small stores. I still have bad days where these habits come back, unfortunately. But instead of running, I am working through just DEALING with panic attacks and living life. I could barely hold a job in the past.

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So, my 30s...Are going to be much healthier. Daily yoga, real whole foods, and getting ME time to get in time for cardio. We'll chat about whole foods soon.... That is the basis for this whole thing. And the first decision I made for this. I HAVE to change the way I eat.