My February...

It has been a rough few weeks for me. I am continuing to work out and do the 21 Day Fix, but not as regularly as I should because I have been down and out about the fact that I have been STUCK at my weight no matter how well I eat or how much I work out. It's been...sort of depressing. I can't stand this struggle anymore. It really isn't fair. I see so many new moms looks awesome and getting their pre-baby jeans on just months after the baby was born. I'm coming up on two years. TWO YEARS. And still. I am forever 10 pounds above pre-pregnancy weight. I have not crept back up to what I was before I worked out, but some days, the scale says I only lost 3-4 pounds with ALL THIS WORK. And I haven't cheated on my diet enough to be causing the issue of not losing.

It has led me to make some serious changes as of late. First of all, I went off hormonal birth control. I had most recently been trying the Nuva Ring again. But....I actually was experiencing some increased anxiety. Which would make sense -- it wasn't until I was on hormonal birth control at age 19-20 that I even started experiencing regular anxiety attacks. I wonder now if all this time, they could have been better controlled if I had not been on birth control. So, there is that.

No, we are not planning to have another baby in the near future. Just wanted to send that FYI out there.

I also decided that it has come the time to take a break from the SSRI again. This is my hardest break up yet. But I have a feeling that it has something to do with my weight gain. Before becoming pregnant, I had been placed back ON it. And then had to stay on it due to terrible pre-natal and post-partum depression. I feel like I most recently started to come out of that fog. In the past, SSRIs have caused me to either slowly gain weight. And looking back, it was when I was off of them that I got my weight under control. My doctor and I are working closely to make this happen for me. I was on a 5mg dosage for a very long time but had to increase so I am at 10mg. I have been going back and forth between 7.5 mg and 5mg for a week, with plans to eventually stay at 5mg for another week, then bop between 5mg and 2.5mg, then 2.5, then none.

Frankly, I almost want to just jump right to none. Because my doc says there is absolutely no guarantee that going gradual will help me feel less withdrawal symptoms. In fact, it may just PROLONG them, but I have too much going on in my life right now. I can't afford to take a sick day or something just because I'm feeling absolutely crazy and INSANE.  I...had a bad day this past Thursday. I was on my fourth day of lowered lexapro, AND I'm trying to incorporate gluten back in my life (so I can get formal testing at some point -- which I have to eat for a month or ago to get it back otherwise, the test could produce a false negative.)

I have been back on gluten semi-regularly for about 3 weeks. And it has been awful. Truly awful. The first week was...not terrible. I had headaches here and there. Felt slightly foggy. The second and third week brought nausea, headaches and anxiety. But again, that could be connected to the Lexapro.

I realize I am an idiot for dropping so many things at once, but enough was enough for me. I don't want to be on hormones. I don't want to be on medicine that screws with my brain chemicals. AND DARN IT -- if I want a craft beer, I am going to have one. That's all there is to it.

Oh! One more thing, I have been awfully quiet on Twitter these days. I don't want to beat a dead horse, but if you're wondering where I am, I am just avoiding it for the most part. Talking here and there, but that's about it. I...don't really miss it....

21 Day Fix - The end!

I am a week late posting this, but still wanted to post it to give it some finality. I am actually in the midst of the second round of it, but I will get into that later.

 

Here is my before and after: Not too bad!

Before Weight: 158.6 lbs Now: 154.4
Before Chest: 36″  Now: 34.5"
Before Right Arm: 13″ Now: 12.5"
Before Left Arm: 13″ Now: 12.5"
Before Waist (at belly button): 36.5″ Now: 33"
Before High Waist (natural waist): 31" Now: 29.5"
Before Hips: 42″ Now: 41"
Before Right Thigh: 26.5″ Now: 26"
Before Left Thigh: 27″ Now: 26"

It was a loss of 4.2 lbs and 10".  I had hoped for a few more pounds, but I'm not going to complain. Because LOOK at the difference!! I am now down another pound this week while I have been working on the first week of round 1.  I can not wait to see what happens in two more weeks.

On a side note...I just wanted to mention that I was VERY skeptical of all things Beachbody when I first started off. I had avoided ordering this system because it was specifically Beachbody. But now I find myself wondering what else is out there that I can order..... Hmm....What to do next?