panic

There's something about anxiety that always kills me. I can't always understand it. Why it's bothered to even show up. It was a rough week with it, for some reason. I am trying to figure out why it's bad. I had PMS last week and normally anxiety is BEFORE. I had gluten on Sunday, half a beer. Was that it?  Maybe my seasonal allergies had me going? Who knows.

That's my cycle every single time I have an anxiety attack or a bad week of anxiety. It sucks so badly.

I will admit that things are improving greatly, though, as of late. Granted, I had a bad week, but it wasn't as bad as it could be. I just had a consistent buzzing feeling within my entire body. Tough.  But prior to this weird week, I saw a difference in my body. I quit hormonal birth control in February. I had been on the Nuva ring since last fall. And before we had Avery, I had been on it then. In fact, I had been on that for nearly 10 years before she was born (with a few months here and there on other types of BC pills during that timeline...when I was trying to save $$. The Nuva Ring is crazy $$!).

I had sat down and thought about the weight I wasn't able to lose after having Avery. The years and years of anxiety that also plagued me... Almost since I first ...went....on....birth control. MIND. BLOWN.

Seriously. I know that I am naturally a crazy person. Always hyped up and nervous. But the hormones made me just that much crazier. There's a lot to think about, as far as not wanting to have any more kids. So tracking things are going to be that much more of a headache.

But I'd rather not be in a constant state of panic.