The difficulty with marriage and babies

Marriage and babies. They sometimes do not mix. Sometimes they mix great, sometimes, not so much. Dan I are have had our own issues as of late and have had them since I was first pregnant. I was constantly emotional from the beginning and Dan had no idea how to deal with this new roller coaster that was his wife. I cried over every single thing and he walked around like he was avoiding stepping on a land mine.

And it didn't get easier the further into pregnancy I got. The crying slowed some, but my nausea did not. Not much got done around the house and a lot was placed on Dan's shoulders. I expected a lot out of him. I was so sore and awkward and cleaning even the bathroom became such a struggle for me.

Then the baby arrived. And I was thrown back into an even worse emotional roller coaster. I was such a mess. The worst of them all. I was so leaky. And sore. And the crying. OH THE CRYING. Dan was once again placed with a lot of responsibility. And not once did I feel guilty about it. Looking back, I realize that I did not even appreciate him as much as I should have. I would only get angry if he didn't mean the impossible expectations I was setting for him.

I have never felt farther away from him emotionally at times.  It's so hard. Some moments, I feel so close to him. Other moments I feel so far. Thank goodness for Twitter and my friends there because I have come to realize I am most certainly not alone in this. So many couples struggle for awhile when a new baby comes.

It's not just the physical stuff that we are lacking in our marriage (although, hello, it's hard to be close to my husband in that way at times...I had a BABY and I feel fat, bloated and unsexy 99% of the time). It's the talking, the sharing. Once the baby goes down for naps or to bed, we are off trying to clean house, work on last minutes work-at-home stuff, and trying to have some much needed personal time. I'm off on one computer, watching TV or reading to unwind...And Dan is doing the same thing.

I am being told that it changes as the baby gets older. To give it a year. And this leaves me very hopeful that it will all get better eventually. I love my husband. And he loves me. And we're doing our best to stay afloat (we have take a couple of dates so far and I think we need many more of them!!!).

I look forward to Avery getting older and for us to start feeling married again. I look forward to miss Avery making our marriage stronger. We both have to give 100% to the cause. To everything.

What is some advice that you have for keeping it all together??